


through a glass, darkly

by tossedwaves



Category: Dreaming of Sunshine - Silver Queen, Naruto
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dimension Travel, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27441496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tossedwaves/pseuds/tossedwaves
Summary: In which the kunoichi's seal on Shikako's last mission had had a different result.AKA, Shikako is thrown into canon Naruto.
Relationships: Nara Shikako & Nara Shikamaru, Nara Shikako & Senju Tsunade
Comments: 12
Kudos: 544
Collections: Fic In A Box, Heliocentrism — a Dreaming of Sunshine recursive collection





	through a glass, darkly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_rck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_rck/gifts).



The ninja with a ski mask and orange hair was drawing a seal on the ground. After the kunoichi set it to detonate, it cut out a large chunk of the ground. She moved to jump into the hole, but a strange rumbling noise began and the whole area began to shake. The seal must have set something else off.

Shikako’s eyes widened and all the breath fled her lungs. She threw up her barrier seal and turned around to get out of the blast zone, but she didn’t move fast enough. A solid wall of energy hit her barrier and the rebound knocked her to the ground. She laid in shock for a few seconds before she could work up the nerve to check for injuries. Her fingers and toes still moved, though, and there didn’t seem to be any gaping wounds. It was a good thing that she had managed to get her barrier seal up in time. Despite the unpleasant shock, she was perfectly fine. Shikako ignored the slight shaking of her hands.

She should have known by now. Mysterious seals were always bad news. Shikako took several deep breaths to steady herself. She was _fine._

She didn’t know how she would explain this one to Cat-taicho, though. This time, it hadn’t been her fault! But Kisuke was going to say, “I told you so,” she just knew it. But speaking of Kisuke—

She just hoped that the strange reaction hadn’t affected his anchor seal, since Kisuke himself had no body that could be damaged. Her head turned to search for him, but thankfully Kisuke was still standing off to the side, face scrunched up in annoyance that she had gotten herself involved in this mess. Shikako couldn’t find it herself to disagree with him. She was very glad that the barrier seal had blocked the other seals on her from being affected by the explosion. If Kisuke’s anchor seal had been destroyed and he had reappeared back in Konoha, Tsunade would not have been happy. 

This presented a strange opportunity, though. After the explosion, she had sensed the woman’s chakra disappear. Shikako walked over to where the seal had been and winced. It was a grim sight. The wall of energy had apparently been a lot stronger at the origin point, and the kunoichi’s body had blown apart. 

Shikako glanced once again at the circular seal. It still did not look at all familiar to her, and she did not know how to begin parsing it. Not, at least, without a better idea of what its purpose was, and perhaps a reference on circular sealing. 

The woman’s choice of where to put the seal had been spectacularly unlucky. It had bored a hole in the ground, and had uncovered a tunnel beneath them. Shikako made sure to note the location. A previously-unknown tunnel system would be important information to tell the Hokage. Unfortunately for the other kunoichi, however, Orochimaru had a lot of questionable things stockpiled for science. It looked like one of them had been right below the seal, and the interaction between the two had likely been what set off such a powerful reaction.

The three of them on the ground hadn’t been the only ones affected. Down in the tunnel, a tall ninja with purple hair lay prostrate on the ground. It seemed like he had had had the misfortune to be in area as the seal had gone off, and he hadn’t had the benefit of a barrier seal to protect him either. His death left the tunnel wide open. 

There would be people coming to investigate the explosion very soon, and Cat-taicho had said to send up a signal immediately if there were any problems. But Orochimaru’s stuff was _right there._ It would be such a waste for her to just leave it. Besides, Orochimaru’s people would most likely blame the explosion for damaging any items they couldn’t find. If Shikako went full stealth and was fast about it...

She heard Sasuke’s voice in the back of her head. _Really, Shikako?_ But Sasuke wasn’t here to dissuade her. 

Shikako jotted down the seal that the woman had used, then went full stealth and dropped into the hole. She grabbed a few of the nearest items and put them into hammerspace to investigate later. Maybe they would give her some clue as to what had interacted with the kunoichi’s seal and how it had caused such a dramatic reaction. A powerful soundwave that caused significant damage could be useful on a battlefield… But Shikako sensed several people approaching, so she jumped back out to an increasingly frustrated Kisuke and gestured for the two of them to run. 

He looked furious, but couldn’t argue while fleeing at full speed. That wouldn’t spare her later, though. 

Once they had reached a far enough distance and Shikako couldn’t sense any pursuers, she motioned for them to stop for a second so she could signal Cat-taicho and Crow. They would meet back at the Fire Country outpost as previously planned. Shikako could follow those instructions.

* * *

When they got close to the outpost, however, it gradually became clear that something was off. Shikako flashed her chakra in the Konoha code to signify that she was ANBU, the mission was classified, and that she was no threat. She received the correct response, but it was slower than usual, as if the person had hesitated.

When she got to the outpost, the ninja who had signaled her the “all clear” came to meet her and Kisuke at the entrance, though he couldn’t see the ghost. He signed another Konoha Standard identity confirmation, which wasn’t strictly standard, but wasn’t entirely unreasonable. If Shikako worked on a border outpost constantly seeing new ninja, she would want extra verification too. But the extra concern was a bit odd. Once she completed the correct response, _Clouds cover the red sun after the long harvest and leaves dance on the wind,_ the ninja stepped back and motioned for her to enter the main room of the outpost. She supposed he was just being extra careful.

When she and Kisuke entered the main room, they were greeted by another ANBU wearing a skunk mask. He must have also been out on mission. For some reason, though, when Skunk saw her Bat mask, he stiffened. He signed _Inquiry. Identity report. Isn’t Bat mask decommissioned?_

Shikako frowned and signed _I am six months old,_ referring to how long she had been a part of ANBU. _Out on mission. Classified._

Skunk didn’t appear satisfied with that answer, but he clearly did not have the authority to question her further. He returned to his seat in the corner. 

Shikako’s teeth were set on edge by the repeated questioning, but she just walked to the opposite side of the room. She couldn’t wait for Cat-taicho and Crow to get back so they could debrief and decide what to do for the rest of their mission. She wished she could inspect the seal and the loot from Orochimaru’s den, but that was impossible in front of anyone else. It was highly classified, and she didn’t trust Skunk. Shikako would wait until she was back with her squad or back in Konoha. 

But she had a long while to wait. She and Kisuke stood there for half an hour before Shikako began to worry that the other two had run into problems. 

Cat-taicho and Crow knew what they were doing—they were both ANBU captains, after all—but Orochimaru and the large number of ninja he had in Sound would be more than a match for the two of them. If they had been discovered, it was very unlikely that Shikako would ever see either of them again. But she couldn’t leave it there. Kakashi-sensei would never recover if Cat-taicho didn’t come back. 

She left the outpost and Kisuke followed, though he didn’t voice his protests until they had left sight of the outpost. “What are you doing? Protocol—and Cat-taicho—said to wait at the nearest outpost for the team to regroup. If they don’t return, then you should go back to the Hokage.” He pointed his finger at her. “We should _not_ be going on an ill-planned hunt for them. They could be anywhere, or they could be caught by Orochimaru.” Kisuke’s voice got increasingly louder, though not loud enough that it would have alerted enemies had they been able to hear him. Old habits died hard. “You shouldn’t be risking the intel we gained going off on a spontaneous retrieval mission.”

Shikako shook her head and set her jaw. “I don’t care. I’m not going to leave them.”

* * *

After a futile several hours trying to track down Cat-taicho and Crow, Shikako was finally forced to admit defeat. She had gone back to the place where they had split up and attempted to track them down using chakra residue, but there wasn’t any she could use. In fact, Shikako hadn’t found any trace of them at all. It made sense, since they were both ANBU captains. But it was also extremely frustrating and worrying. 

But after the third time she had almost run into a Sound scouting party and still hadn’t come across a single trace of either of them, Shikako was forced to accede to Kisuke’s demands. At this point, the best course of action for Cat-taicho and Crow really would be to return to Konoha, where she could get some other people with tracking ability to help hunt them down. It was clear that chasing blindly after them like this was worse than useless. 

Kisuke wholeheartedly supported the change of course. He was just annoyed that she hadn’t accepted the necessity earlier. They both ran back to Konoha in tense silence.

* * *

In retrospect, she should have paid more attention to the strange reactions at the outpost. Their return to Konoha could have gone much better.

* * *

Shikako was being dragged to the Hokage before she could even blink. While that in itself wasn’t new, the ANBU Commander insisting that she wasn’t registered as an ANBU was. Bat had been many things, but unrecognizable was not one of them. Shikako had never expected that she would have to fend off accusations of trespassing and being a spy. This was a new and altogether unpleasant experience.

* * *

When Shikako had returned to Konoha, she went immediately to the ANBU Commander to ask for backup to recover her team. But he had taken once glance at her Bat mask in ANBU headquarters and had her secured before she could blink. Shikako really should have paid more attention to her reception at the outpost. Skunk hadn’t recognized her either. Perhaps then she could have avoided this, whatever this was. She really did not know what was going on. 

Shikako twisted in the commander’s grasp to look up at his mask. “Commander, I’ve been an ANBU on Red Team for six months. I don’t understand why you are acting this way. I was on a mission to Sound with a temporary team, but Cat-taicho and another team member are currently MIA. Please, would you send a team to look for them? They failed to appear at the outpost after I sent up a signal. Something might have happened.”

His hand tightened on her arm. “ what you say is true, we will look for them. It is still unclear how you have classified knowledge about Konoha. And coming to me to ask for help for your team? It’s apparent you’re not” He mumbled a word that Shikako couldn’t hear. He shook his head. “The question is, what _are_ you?”

Shikako had a strange feeling he had said ROOT. She shivered. 

The commander continued. “We have no records on a team being currently sent to Sound. And—did you say Cat-taicho? He is currently on mission elsewhere. Your efforts to distract me from investigating you are admirable, but all possible spies are to be brought directly to the Hokage.”

Shikako stopped walking, and had to be jerked back into motion by the commander’s grip on her. “No, that couldn’t be. Cat-taicho and Crow were on mission with me to Sound. But they failed to report back at the outpost on the border. You have to look for them! They could need help!”

She felt the commander’s eyes on her, but he appeared unmoved. His grip tightened. “That is absolutely impossible. Crow is back at headquarters right now. He never left on a mission. Now, enough with the questions. You don’t have the right to demand anything. You are currently under investigation.”

* * *

Tsunade looked over her glass of sake with a sigh. Her tenure as Hokage had not started out smoothly. She had known that being Hokage meant that she would have to deal with all sorts of ridiculously messy things, instead of hiding away in a casino or a bottle. It was one of the reasons why she had opposed the appointment so vehemently. 

This was just another of a long string of incidents that had plagued her tenure and would keep doing so until she died or managed to retire. Hopefully this one would be over soon. 

The ANBU Commander had entered her office a few minutes ago with an unidentified ANBU. Apparently, she had attempted to walk into Konoha as if she belonged there. What was strange, though, was that the moment she had (successfully!) managed to infiltrate ANBU Headquarters, she went straight to the commander demanding help for her team. A team she claimed Konoha had sent on an authorized mission. 

It was a strange puzzle. Who would have gone straight to the ANBU Commander after successfully managing to get so far? And then to insist on them sending out a team to rescue two ANBU operatives who weren’t actually in danger?

She took a sip of sake for fortification, then narrowed her eyes and leaned forward. Frustratingly, the kunoichi didn’t even shrink back. “So. Care to explain who you are, how you got high-level Konoha security codes, and why you are so worried about two Konoha ANBU operatives?”

The kunoichi’s eyes widened in shock. “Tsunade-sama? Don’t you recognize me?” Her expression of dismay appeared genuine. 

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. “Should I?”

The kunoichi attempted to stand up, but the ANBU Commander’s killing intent spiked and he made a threatening step forward. She sat back down.

“Please, Tsunade-sama. My name is Nara Shikako and I’m the daughter of Nara Shikaku and Nara Yoshino. I was on Team 7 with Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke and Naruto? Is this some strange prank?”

Tsunade frowned. Perhaps the kunoichi was delusional. “Shikaku only has a son. And Team 7—before it was dissolved—was composed of Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura, my student. I don’t know who you are trying to convince, but Nara Shikako does not exist.”

The kunoichi’s eyes widened, but a few seconds later, she seemed to relax. Tsunade could not imagine why. This certainly was no laughing matter. She took a swig of sake. Kami, what she’d give for a day off. 

But it seemed like the strange kunoichi was not done with her protest. “So...I believe that I have been thrown into an alternate reality with Kisuke. A strange circular seal reacted oddly with something Orochimaru was storing, and now I am stuck here in a reality where I don’t exist. I believe that with a little time, though, I will be able to figure out what happened with the seal and send myself back.”

Scratch that, this was beyond even the worst of the previous incidents. Dealing with Danzo and the fallout of the Uchiha boy’s desertion was nothing compared to this. Alternate universes, really. Tsunade took another swig. “And who is Kisuke?”

“He’s a ghost. You’ll see him if you hold this anchor seal that I made.” She held it out as if Tsunade would _ever_ be tempted to touch it. 

She had seen her great uncle Tobirama’s seals. Sometimes they had had unexpected...effects. Tsunade shivered. Like she would ever touch a seal from a delusional and possibly hostile ninja. And then she did a double take. “A _ghost?”_

The kunoichi across from her nodded, as if it were a perfectly normal thing to announce. “Yes, he was killed defending Konoha a few years ago. He now assists ANBU for reconnaissance missions.”

There were not enough bottles of sake in the _Five Great Nations_ to make up for her having to deal with this.

* * *

Kisuke was confused. Kisuke was very, very confused. He and Bat—Nara Shikako—had suddenly found themselves in a Konoha where no one recognized them. Well, no one could see Kisuke, like always, but the point still stood. No one knew who Bat was, and no one knew what mission they had been sent on.

Apparently they were in an alternate dimension, one where Shikako died as a child. And since Shikako had been the one to identify Kisuke, no one knew about him either. 

What was strange was that Shikako seemed completely unaffected by what had happened. She even had an explanation for it. But an _alternate universe?_ Whose head automatically jumped to “alternate universe?” Tsunade-sama definitely did not appreciate Shikako’s theory either.

Kisuke was used to weird. Hell, he was a _ghost._ But this was beyond the pale.

* * *

Inoichi did not know what to think. Shikaku was still in shock. He’d returned home to Yoshino to tell her what had happened, that their girl who had died as a baby was here from another dimension. Inoichi did not know how he would have even attempted that conversation. Hell, Inoichi didn’t even know what to do, and he wasn’t nearly as personally invested. 

Watching Shikako was surreal. Had she not told them she had been a part of Team 7 and all the dumpster fire that that entailed, he would never have guessed such a girl to be the child of his two friends. She was just so—

Even being a part of Team 7 wouldn’t have done all that. Sakura wasn’t recovering well from the desertion of Sasuke, but she and Ino were still very childish sometimes. They were still kids, for all that they were ninja. 

Shikako had none of that. Hell, she _wasn’t_ a child anymore. A fourteen-year old jounin and a member of ANBU. Inoichi thought that Konoha had stopped that kind of thing after the Itachi fiasco. No one wanted preteens that lethal and with that much responsibility. Even if they didn’t turn out like Itachi, everyone knew Kakashi. Konoha’s child prodigies were one long parade of tragedy. 

No one wanted more ninja like that. Geniuses were great to use against their enemies, but they were always wild cards. The instant they slipped the leash—well, better for everyone that they never got to that point. 

Inoichi never wanted that for anyone he was close to. Shikaku and Chouza were like his brothers. The thought of Shikaku’s child in any dimension suffering that fate was a bitter pill to swallow. 

Shikako certainly had the same thoughtless lack of self-preservation that Kakashi did. The way she had recounted what had happened to her, and how she would experiment with the seals to _hopefully_ throw herself back into her home dimension... It would be burned into his mind forever how she offhandedly mentioned it would be “slightly unfortunate if her body were lost to the sands of eternity.” Inoichi shuddered. He wondered what had made her consider her life of such little worth. He knew Shikaku—in any universe—would never treat his family badly. 

And for all that there appeared to be some tension between Shikako and Shikamaru in the other universe, Shikako clearly loved her brother. 

Strangely, it also seemed like things had gone better for Shikako’s Team 7 than they had gone here. To all appearances, Sasuke was still her best friend, and had never had any delusions of gaining power by attacking his teammates and abandoning them for that maniac Orochimaru. By the way she talked about him, the two of them had a great friendship. So what could have possibly spurred Shikako to aim for jounin at fourteen? The only people who managed that were both seriously messed up and also overcompensating for something. 

Inoichi just hoped that for the sake of Shikaku and Yoshino in the other universe, she got back safe. And he hoped that, in the process of getting back, she didn’t break their hearts here.

* * *

After avoiding the current drama for as long as he could through a series of increasingly ridiculous challenges with Gai, cleaning his apartment three times, and an unexplainable incident with a mop and a toothbrush, Kakashi was finally hunted down by Tsunade. 

An unfortunately irate Tsunade, who broke his door down while yelling about handing him the hat that much sooner if he wouldn’t help her out a little. Since Kakashi didn’t put it past her to accomplish it out of spite, he surrendered to the inevitable and went to meet their resident dimension-traveler. His erstwhile student in a world that should have never existed. 

Every year that passed convinced him even more that the world truly was a comic joke. Why not alternate universes? It seemed in keeping with the theme of his life that this would happen. He had stopped trying to anticipate the future at five while standing in a pool of his father’s blood. Much better to take the world as it came. 

Shikako seemed to be taking it all quite well. He appreciated that. The awkward silence stretched out. Kakashi felt no need to fill it.

The kunoichi tilted her head. “Hello, Kakashi-sensei.”

Kakashi winced. His attempts at being a sensei…had not ended well, to say the least. He was currently pretending that that period of his life had never happened, which was easy so long as he never saw Sakura at the hospital. Thankfully, Kakashi never went to the hospital, except for when his unobliging teammates dragged his unconscious body there. But since Kakashi fled the moment he regained consciousness, seeing Sakura was rarely a risk. It had never been easier to pretend that he had no students.

(If, when Orochimaru was mentioned, his mind sometimes wandered…well, no one had to know.)

Tsunade finally decided that she would step in, to his relief. 

“So. You said you had information on Orochimaru.”

* * *

Watching the two of them was painful. 

She had heard that Shikako’s meeting with Shikaku and Yoshino had been difficult. It must have been strange for Shikako to interact with parents who thought she was dead. Though, according to Shikaku, Shikako had seemed strangely unaffected by the knowledge that she was dead in this reality. Perhaps it hadn’t hit her yet.

But that wasn’t the purpose of this meeting. She had gone through the trouble of tracking down Kakashi in order to plan what they were going to do about Orochimaru with the new intel Shikako provided. Though watching Kakashi having to deal with feelings would be amusing, this really wasn’t something she wanted to force. Despite what most people thought, she really didn’t enjoy inflicting pain on her ninja. And it was clear that this had hurt Kakashi.

But she had to do what she must, and Kakashi would be instrumental if they decided to use the information against Sound. And if they decided to try to recover Uchiha Sasuke.

Tsunade hadn’t been sure at first whether or not to trust Shikako’s assurances. But they had tracked down the Kisuke (of this dimension, and wasn’t that strange?) exactly where she said he would be, and now there were _two_ matching ghosts. A major headache that Tsunade didn’t even want to think about right now, but it did offer an extra layer of proof beyond the intel Shikako could offer. Shikaku had been the final corroboration—he had confirmed that Shikako knew how to use their Kagemane Hiden technique so well a Nara had to have taught it to her. 

Something was still off about Nara Shikako, though. Despite appearing to have transparent motives, she still set off alarm bells. There was no way to ask anyone from Shikako’s home dimension about her, so all Tsunade could rely on was her own impressions. And appearances were deceptive. She remembered how charming Orochimaru had been. He had had a way of drawing people in.

Shikako wasn’t charming, exactly, but she did have the same kind of presence that made people sit up and pay attention. Even the way she could make ridiculous scientific theories like alternate universes seem reasonable. And it seemed like she had managed to infiltrate Orochimaru’s base and grab some of the stuff he had there, with the expectation that she would be able to decipher it. Not many made that kind of boast, but it didn’t even sound like Shikako was boasting—just stating a fact.

Looking at the stuff was worth a shot, though. Tsunade would use whatever she could against Orochimaru. Shikako had already brought information about a tunnel system they could use to infiltrate his base, _and_ a ghost they could use for reconnaissance. Perhaps she would have some insight into how to recover Uchiha Sasuke as well. She had already prevented him from leaving Konoha once, after all.

“Tsunade-sama? If I might suggest, perhaps it would be a good idea to ask Jiraiya-sama to lend his expertise? I can decode the two seals, but perhaps his better knowledge of Orochimaru would give him some extra insight. I also think that the Naruto from this dimension might have the best shot at encouraging Sasuke to return,” Shikako suggested with a bland smile, as if she weren’t practically telling the Hokage what to do. 

Tsunade wondered about her own counterpart in the other dimension. How did she deal with this all of the time? The worst part was, it wasn’t an unreasonable suggestion. To be willing to ask for help, but in the same breath reveal her skills at managing people and planning ahead. Interesting, indeed. 

Tsunade thought that there were many comparisons she could make between Shikako and other geniuses. But there was something at the core of her altogether different, something she had never seen before. Perhaps some of it was because Shikako came from another dimension with only a ghost for company. It was only natural that Tsunade would find something ethereal about her. But she didn’t think that was the only explanation.

Tsunade almost regretted not having a Shikako in this Konoha.

* * *

When his dad had come into his room with such a grim face, Shikamaru had feared that something had happened to one of his friends. His dad had quickly reassured him that everyone was fine, but Shikamaru had never seen him look so distraught. When he found out that it was because Shikamaru should have had a twin sister but she died, he was sure his face had matched his father’s. 

And now it seemed like his sister from another dimension had appeared, and Shikamaru could get to meet her.

If anyone else had told him that, Shikamaru would never have believed them. But it was his dad. He had never seen his dad be wrong or irrational _ever._ And Shikamaru always noticed when people were irrational. He tried to emulate his dad, but he felt his composure slipping. How could he help himself from reacting irrationally to the idea of having a twin sister?

Shikamaru’s hands shook as he walked downstairs to meet her. What would she think of him? She was used to having a sibling. How would he compare to her actual brother, who had known her and loved her for his entire life?

Across the room, Shikamaru saw a girl standing by the window. He stopped in his tracks. She—she looked like his mother. But she also looked like him. How—how could this be real? 

There was a strange familiarity, like a distorted reflection. Like someone or something that had always been a part of him, only he had never known. In his blood and in his mind, forever. They were _twins._ That ache he sometimes felt when he thought about having siblings—that ache was from her absence. How could life have been so cruel to separate them?

Shikamaru did not even know what to say. What could he say to his twin, but also not-his-twin?

“Hello.”

“Hi, Shikamaru.” It felt like her eyes cut right through him.

Shikamaru choked up. “How—how did you survive? Do you know what happened to—the other you?”

Shikako looked down. “I have chakra sensitivity, or at least I did as a baby. I still remember how the Kyuubi’s chakra felt like it was choking me. It was probably too much for my counterpart.”

Shikamaru had never been so horrified in his life. She had _died next to him_ and he couldn’t even remember? And chakra sensitivity—“But aren’t you a ninja?”

She shrugged. “Well, my sensitivity faded as I got older. Moulding chakra never hurt for me, thankfully, so I was able to convince Mom and Dad to go to the Academy with you. Now i’m a jounin.”

He did a double take. “A _jounin?_ And you’re the same age as me?”

Shikako winced. “Yeah, Shika—my brother from back home—was surprised too.” She looked down. “He wasn’t too happy about it.”

Shikamaru was confused. 

Some of it must have shown on his face, because Shikako replied, “It’s because he’s worried about me. We used to be a lot closer, but he’s always been really overprotective. Ever since we both became ninja, he’s had a hard time accepting that I can defend myself. I just wish—“ She cut off, but Shikamaru wished she had continued. It was painful, hearing about their family quabbles. But he had always wanted a sibling. If this was all the time he would ever get to have with her, he would listen to whatever she decided to say.

Shikako looked at him with eyes that had seen too much. She hesitated, opening her mouth as if to speak, but it was a few breaths before she responded. “I think—I think I might have been too harsh with him. He made mistakes, but so did I. And the thought of living without him—“ Her eyes looked right at him. “Well, I realize that there could be worse things. I miss him.”

Shikamaru’s heart clenched. This would be the closest he would ever get to having a sister, but she didn’t feel the same. He would only ever be an echo of the real thing for her. He wondered what his life could have been like, had things been different. He wondered about a lot of things.

* * *

Shikako had been staying in this alternate Konoha for several days before Naruto arrived. It appeared that Tsunade had actually called him and Jiraiya back so they could give her whatever intel they had discovered while traveling across the Five Great Nations. 

She heard Naruto coming before she saw him. 

“Sakura-chan! I missed you! I’m so glad to be back in Konoha, how is everyone?”

Shikako winced. It had been a while since she had though about how she had stolen Sakura’s place on Team 7. Now she would have to confront that firsthand. Even though she had given Sakura Tsunade’s technique and she had gotten the Hokage’s attention with it, Shikako still felt guilty for costing her her chance to have Kakashi as a sensei. 

But from what she had seen earlier, canon Kakashi was not doing well. Shikako had forgotten what a shitshow _Naruto Shippuden_ had turned into. It made her even more grateful that things hadn’t turned out that way in her reality. 

She didn’t want to ascribe it all to herself. Even though she had been doing whatever she could to change things 

(the faces of Uchiha accused her in her dreams)

when she could, Shikako had only been able to do so much. But she knew that the butterfly effect was real. Perhaps her death (or her survival) had affected her family, which then spiraled outwards? She really hadn’t expected to find out that she existed in this world.

Her mom and dad and Shikamaru had been so different. She had thought—told herself—that they would be better without her. But it looked like they weren’t. Shikamaru had looked so _sad._ She wished she could do something, but it wasn’t her world. She couldn’t stay for Shikamaru-who-was-not-her-Shikamaru. 

It was odd; Shikako had always assumed that her existence was an anomaly, a mistake in the arrangement of her Naruto universe. But perhaps she had a place? This trip had shown that, at the very least, her life had made a small difference. 

Maybe—maybe her life wasn’t a mistake, after all. Maybe she shouldn’t be ashamed anymore. She did what she could. And maybe—if she was very lucky—it would be enough. 

Perhaps she would be able to help them recover Sasuke before she returned.


End file.
